My Observations of Life

This time on my trip to India, my Grandma showed me this writing pad the she had kept from our old stuff. From what is written on this, it is the writing pad I used when I was in class 8.  Haasini was so happy to see this old writing pad of her mom that she shared pictures of it with her friends. We calculated that this is 25 years old!  I shared this on my Whatsapp status. So many friends sent me several messages of nostalgia. My best friend asked me to create a permanent record of this memory on my blog and here it is - A recollection of my memories from class 8.  Friend, if you are reading this, this is for you. 8th standard was a unique year of my life. One when I learned the concept of impermanence, without actually realizing it (till now). It was a time I was lonely but independent, lost but found many of my strengths, had no friends but made some relations for life!  It was during the summer vacation of my class 7, in the year 1999, that my parents decided tha...

 I have very vivid memories of visiting the Meenakshi Amman Temple in Madurai when I was little.  I was very lucky to have grandparents who lived in the "town," near the temple. We used to walk to the temple on Fridays to worship Meenakshi. Google maps tell me that the distance from my Grandparents' place to the temple is about 2kms - which is far for a 4 to 6 year old.  As "Madurai Karanga," we are supposed to visit Meenakshi first and then Sundareswarar. That is the "Idheegam" my Grandma used to say. We never visit the Sundareswarar sannidhi first. Sometimes, we only visit Amman Sannadhi and come home! Such ardent Meenakshi fans we are 😊 As a child, one of the motivations to make the 2 + 2 km hike back & forth is the prasadam stall within the temple. I loved the appam and murukku they sold. We go to Amman sannidhi, Swami Sannidhi, say hello to the Mukkuruni Vinayagar and on the way back to Amman Sannidhi (yes, that's the be all and end all p...

 Just a little heads-up before I start a series of these posts -  I just came back from a 3-week vacation in India. The next few posts, including this one, will document my observations from my "India days."  Now to the "Immigrant child remorse" - As a son/daughter who left parents behind in India, you get to hear this a lot - "You are settled there? You left your parents back home to fend for themselves, right?"  Sometimes with a sad undertone, sometimes mocking, sometimes angry. But everyone who knows your parents and meets you on your India trip makes sure to ask this question.  Sometimes the question comes on its own - After a pause in the conversation. Sometimes, while they are talking about the good times they have with your parents, they just inject the question. Sometimes, while talking about their own kids, this question pops up.  Whatever the situation or the emotion of the question is, what could be the answer? Do you know, reader?  Have you...

I’ve lived 2 consecutive days of contradicting emotions.  Contradictions within the same day and to what extreme! 😄 First day was Friday, August 1, 2025.  Before I get into the contradiction, let me share some background on my best friend from Engineering college, V. V and I studied at the same college, got placed in Wipro together, worked on the same final project for Engineering, got trained together at work and were on bench together 😅 Those were the days, the days we forgot gender differences, the days when we shared our biggest dreams, strongest hopes, deepest fears and darkest secrets without the fear of being judged or jealousy (OMG da V, you know too much about me 😅 and vice versa).  We grew really close during our Wipro days, helping each other navigate both work and life situations. He is one of the three people in my life who are allowed to address me with a “di” (as in “ennadi pandra?”) and that is a special reservation. Our friendship also continued after ...

Logic Vs Love Practicality Vs Fantasy At times Societal Norms Vs Passion Those are the conflicts that forever exist in all of our lives.  People who can find a middle ground are the millions of ordinary people we see living on this planet. People who get to the mind side are the uber successful, wealthy people - per societal norms. People who get to the heart side are the tormented souls. Such people,      D o not have a place in the society as they do not abide by the rules posed.      Are super individualistic and self-respecting that they cannot give up on themselves by not following their heart. What does this have to do with me now?  I'm not sure.  I was thinking about the things that one cannot have (one can never have) because of so many unwritten "rules" and it led me to this.  Maybe "Things that one can never have" is another blog post for another day. 

 I am running Every minute, every day, all the time! What am I running towards? I don’t know What am I looking for? I don’t know  However, the run is only constant. Even now when I’m sitting perfectly still, I’m running -        Towards what I need         Towards what my soul needs          Towards what my whole being wants           To feel better, to feel happy, to feel alive, to be human But what is that thing that will make me feel happy?         What is that thing that will fill my heart and nourish my soul and the human in me?  I don’t know. I think that’s why the run is constant.  Running towards an unknown destination is painful 😖  The mindless chase, constant search, the forever empty void I try pouring self-care, self-love, me time, loneliness, meditation and growth into the void to see if it will fill up and make me feel better. I try d...