Getting Married!!! Its one of the most beautiful things that can ever happen to someone. But something perceived beautiful by everyone has its own shortcomings!!
Hey, Come on.. Am not going to advice U or write the same old, boring things that U have heard of marriage like "loss of freedom", "choice less" etc., etc., This post would just make U "Think before U Decide". Also, this post is most likely to portray a girl's perspective of the topic (Natural! :) ) though some of them could be applicable to men too.
Hmmmm... Where to start it from... Ok...
Am single.. I work, I earn, I spend, I enjoy, I decide on: what to do with my money, how to lead my career and life.
Maximum people I have in my life now are Mom, Dad, Grand parents, Sister / Brother and Friends. (Hey reader, U think BF or GF is missing in the list of relations?? But hey, we are talking about "singles" here, "literally") These people are very close to me and understand me as I am.
If I donot like my work and would like to take up my passion as my career (Just like me :D), then I am free to do so. All I will have to ensure is that I am happy with what I do and of course, earn a decent living, If am a person who likes to be financially independent. If am not much cared about whose money I live on, then I would go straight ahead to do whatsoever I like because I know my parents support me. :) I have dreams in life like (most others) owning a home, a car, becoming popular, etc., etc., And I feel a sense of achievement when they become true one by one.
Unless I have family commitments like loan, siblings' studies, etc., saving my hard earned money is my own choice. I can save my money and be "futuristic" or be a spendthrift and enjoy life, taking it as it comes.
Food is the one thing where I have a plethora of choices.
I dont know / like cooking? Not a problem at all.
Problem??!!! I am very lucky if I dont like / know cooking!!!
I can eat Indian (North / South, of course India has a WIDE variety of cuisines), Italian, Thai, Chinese, Continental and the rest in the list which am not aware of. :) (U, reader, know better of other variety cuisines. Add them alllllll here) So many varieties of food waiting to be eaten by me at many hotels / restaurants. Y bother about cooking!!!
What if I know cooking? Oh Noooo.. Thats a waste of Time.. Hee hee :D Just for fun. Still, I donot have so many choice when I self-cook. After all, am not a chef. :)
Ok, I have a job, I earn, I spend, I eat, but whats the fun if I do not have ppl to do this all with!!
I do have my friends from school, college, office, hostel, neighbourhood (at native and where I live now), leave out friends, I know many ppl who i meet at travel, lift, lunch, tea, stroll, etc., etc., ppl all around me. Still, the ppl who I care for the maximum are my family and very close friends. And the only person who I care the most about is, ME. (Of course, but if U donot accept it, then I am sorry, U r lying!!!! :) ) I donot have any family commitments. I call parents daily and so I dont miss them. Am in touch with my close friends. I spend most of my time for MY own self. :)
I am happy as I am. Suddenly, marriage on mind (atleast on my parents' - commitment for them, and also desire. Parents - ok?? ) When U get married, see how all the above lines are going to change!!!
Am married.. WE work, WE earn, WE spend, WE enjoy, WE decide on: what to do with OUR money, how to lead OUR career and life.
Do U see that? All "I"s have become "We"s. When (after) all written statements have changed and give a changed meaning, think of how much would LIFE change.
A bit of advice here. (Not able to avoid, apologies guys :) ) For some ppl, marriage is all about being together with their loved one (Note: "One" and not ones. This statement is applicable to me too so continuing the usage of "I"). I do not think much about the extra relationships I shall have to accommodate in my life and the commitment (which I have never had - only about life), responsibility (?? I have very less of this) and some petty sacrifices I have to make(HUH??!!).
Now, back to the story. After marriage, the extra ppl I have in my life are my husband, my mother & father-in-law, sister / brother-in-law and other list of their relations. Am very new to them, as they are to me (except my husband, in some cases). Important thing here is, I cannot assume that they will understand me as I am. It is because their family back ground and brought up may be entirely different from where I come from. It takes time to build a mutual understanding as there was with my parents, siblings or friends.
More care should be taken in the way I build up a relationship with them because, they may have a lot of expectations on me (after all, that is how the society is today). Regular calls, visits and setting aside time only for them become very important to make them understand that I care for them equally. :)
Now, MY dreams become OUR (me & my husband's) dreams, may be with some modifications in some cases (True, U have to believe me. Atleast, the married ones will believe). So, "we" earn to make "our" dreams true. :) So, going back to take up my passion as profession becomes a little difficult as I have a family and a home and commitments related to it like rent, grocery, utensils, furniture, milk, cable, credit cards, EMIs, maid, etc., etc., Hey, wait, where did all the dreams like car and home vanish??!!!
Dont panic. :) They are all still there under careful planning. But why?? When I was single, I had only one commitment - paying rent to my PG / hostel within which all the above said commitments were fulfilled (this is applicable to all the unlucky ppl who are away from home for the sake of job). But when I get married, I have to set up a home and run it successfully. :) So, the house and car needs more planning than when I was single. As simple as that. :)
So, the planning part here makes it necessary that I save some money- which might, in some cases, mean cutting down on expenses (only if am of the type to spend all my money and wait for the salary on the 25th of every month :) )
And at the last, it is about food. Food is the essence of man's life!!! :D As a technique to impress my husband, (hey, it happens, after all, I am newly married :D) I start cooking. And my husband, cultivates a liking to the new taste (:D he has to, no choice and other reason I have mentioned in the nxt para). And at one point, (oh my God!!! I have dug my own pit!!!) He wants to eat only the food cooked by me!! (lol... Just kidding... Take it in a lighter sense ppl)
And ppl U know what??!! Husbands become LAZY (caps intended to emphasize the fact) after marriage. They dont even take their wife out for dinner(In most cases). They become addicted to home made food. Paavam they are, after all they have been eating outside for a long long time... :) (Habba, escaped from the scolding of my husband!!! :D) So, in most cases (unless my husband is a fanatic foodie and loves to taste different types of food) the variety of food also gets cut down or reduced.
This is a small sneak-peek into the "world of marriage". Some may think it is an exaggeration, for some it may be real exaggeration as they have a different experience. This is my point of view. I have just given it all in a gist (Iyayo!!!) .
Men can comment of their perspective.
So, thats all from this post ppl. Thanks a lot for having the patience (taking interest) to read such a looooooongggggggggg post.
Bye for now, expecting Ur valuable comments. :)
Hey, Come on.. Am not going to advice U or write the same old, boring things that U have heard of marriage like "loss of freedom", "choice less" etc., etc., This post would just make U "Think before U Decide". Also, this post is most likely to portray a girl's perspective of the topic (Natural! :) ) though some of them could be applicable to men too.
Hmmmm... Where to start it from... Ok...
Am single.. I work, I earn, I spend, I enjoy, I decide on: what to do with my money, how to lead my career and life.
Maximum people I have in my life now are Mom, Dad, Grand parents, Sister / Brother and Friends. (Hey reader, U think BF or GF is missing in the list of relations?? But hey, we are talking about "singles" here, "literally") These people are very close to me and understand me as I am.
If I donot like my work and would like to take up my passion as my career (Just like me :D), then I am free to do so. All I will have to ensure is that I am happy with what I do and of course, earn a decent living, If am a person who likes to be financially independent. If am not much cared about whose money I live on, then I would go straight ahead to do whatsoever I like because I know my parents support me. :) I have dreams in life like (most others) owning a home, a car, becoming popular, etc., etc., And I feel a sense of achievement when they become true one by one.
Unless I have family commitments like loan, siblings' studies, etc., saving my hard earned money is my own choice. I can save my money and be "futuristic" or be a spendthrift and enjoy life, taking it as it comes.
Food is the one thing where I have a plethora of choices.
I dont know / like cooking? Not a problem at all.
Problem??!!! I am very lucky if I dont like / know cooking!!!
I can eat Indian (North / South, of course India has a WIDE variety of cuisines), Italian, Thai, Chinese, Continental and the rest in the list which am not aware of. :) (U, reader, know better of other variety cuisines. Add them alllllll here) So many varieties of food waiting to be eaten by me at many hotels / restaurants. Y bother about cooking!!!
What if I know cooking? Oh Noooo.. Thats a waste of Time.. Hee hee :D Just for fun. Still, I donot have so many choice when I self-cook. After all, am not a chef. :)
Ok, I have a job, I earn, I spend, I eat, but whats the fun if I do not have ppl to do this all with!!
I do have my friends from school, college, office, hostel, neighbourhood (at native and where I live now), leave out friends, I know many ppl who i meet at travel, lift, lunch, tea, stroll, etc., etc., ppl all around me. Still, the ppl who I care for the maximum are my family and very close friends. And the only person who I care the most about is, ME. (Of course, but if U donot accept it, then I am sorry, U r lying!!!! :) ) I donot have any family commitments. I call parents daily and so I dont miss them. Am in touch with my close friends. I spend most of my time for MY own self. :)
I am happy as I am. Suddenly, marriage on mind (atleast on my parents' - commitment for them, and also desire. Parents - ok?? ) When U get married, see how all the above lines are going to change!!!
Am married.. WE work, WE earn, WE spend, WE enjoy, WE decide on: what to do with OUR money, how to lead OUR career and life.
Do U see that? All "I"s have become "We"s. When (after) all written statements have changed and give a changed meaning, think of how much would LIFE change.
A bit of advice here. (Not able to avoid, apologies guys :) ) For some ppl, marriage is all about being together with their loved one (Note: "One" and not ones. This statement is applicable to me too so continuing the usage of "I"). I do not think much about the extra relationships I shall have to accommodate in my life and the commitment (which I have never had - only about life), responsibility (?? I have very less of this) and some petty sacrifices I have to make(HUH??!!).
Now, back to the story. After marriage, the extra ppl I have in my life are my husband, my mother & father-in-law, sister / brother-in-law and other list of their relations. Am very new to them, as they are to me (except my husband, in some cases). Important thing here is, I cannot assume that they will understand me as I am. It is because their family back ground and brought up may be entirely different from where I come from. It takes time to build a mutual understanding as there was with my parents, siblings or friends.
More care should be taken in the way I build up a relationship with them because, they may have a lot of expectations on me (after all, that is how the society is today). Regular calls, visits and setting aside time only for them become very important to make them understand that I care for them equally. :)
Now, MY dreams become OUR (me & my husband's) dreams, may be with some modifications in some cases (True, U have to believe me. Atleast, the married ones will believe). So, "we" earn to make "our" dreams true. :) So, going back to take up my passion as profession becomes a little difficult as I have a family and a home and commitments related to it like rent, grocery, utensils, furniture, milk, cable, credit cards, EMIs, maid, etc., etc., Hey, wait, where did all the dreams like car and home vanish??!!!
Dont panic. :) They are all still there under careful planning. But why?? When I was single, I had only one commitment - paying rent to my PG / hostel within which all the above said commitments were fulfilled (this is applicable to all the unlucky ppl who are away from home for the sake of job). But when I get married, I have to set up a home and run it successfully. :) So, the house and car needs more planning than when I was single. As simple as that. :)
So, the planning part here makes it necessary that I save some money- which might, in some cases, mean cutting down on expenses (only if am of the type to spend all my money and wait for the salary on the 25th of every month :) )
And at the last, it is about food. Food is the essence of man's life!!! :D As a technique to impress my husband, (hey, it happens, after all, I am newly married :D) I start cooking. And my husband, cultivates a liking to the new taste (:D he has to, no choice and other reason I have mentioned in the nxt para). And at one point, (oh my God!!! I have dug my own pit!!!) He wants to eat only the food cooked by me!! (lol... Just kidding... Take it in a lighter sense ppl)
And ppl U know what??!! Husbands become LAZY (caps intended to emphasize the fact) after marriage. They dont even take their wife out for dinner(In most cases). They become addicted to home made food. Paavam they are, after all they have been eating outside for a long long time... :) (Habba, escaped from the scolding of my husband!!! :D) So, in most cases (unless my husband is a fanatic foodie and loves to taste different types of food) the variety of food also gets cut down or reduced.
This is a small sneak-peek into the "world of marriage". Some may think it is an exaggeration, for some it may be real exaggeration as they have a different experience. This is my point of view. I have just given it all in a gist (Iyayo!!!) .
Men can comment of their perspective.
So, thats all from this post ppl. Thanks a lot for having the patience (taking interest) to read such a looooooongggggggggg post.
Bye for now, expecting Ur valuable comments. :)
