Hopes and Dreams

Dreams are the elixir of human life.

With the hope that we will be alive tomorrow, we plan today. With the hope that someone will stay true, we plan our life together. With the hope that things will happen in our favor, we make decisions.

What is the seed of our hope? It is our dreams. We want to live life just as good as we imagine (our dreams). Dreams do not have a logic, do not check practicality, not even feasibility or eligibility. Dreams are above boundaries,  they are limitless, with no borders, no rules, no logic.

Coming to think of hopes again, it seems hope, also to a large extent, is like dream. We do not know if our hope is baseless, still we hope.

What happens if our hope gets shattered? We feel disappointed. What if it gets shattered the second time? We start doubting our hope. But the human heart is so stupid that it hopes to hope the same hope over and over and over again that it gets numb of hoping. Still it doesn't stop hoping.

Why, oh, Why?!

Because heart is also to a great extent like dream. It has not learnt it's limits. Failure after failure, defeat after defeat, conceit after conceit, it still hopes for success, victory and trust. It's like a baby that keeps going to the mother even after several times of getting ignored by the latter. Babies aren't stupid but heart is.

Why, oh, Why?!
Is life so complicated?
Is heart so stupid?
Is dream so baseless?
Is brain ignored several times?
Is brain dominated by heart?

Huh. Cos, after all, dreams are the elixir of human life and things are meant to be. 

Dad!

Lonely, depressed and fatigued.

That is all needed for a life to go miserable.

Thank you very much!

Sometimes, not taking care of one's own health is the biggest crime one can commit. This is one crime that'll have a lifelong impact on others, not the one who commits it.

Thank you very much!

Thanks for stealing all our peace, thanks for making us wander ever depressed, thanks for letting us crave for answers to questions unanswered, thanks for frightening us now and then, thanks for leaving a big hole, thanks for making us realize that unexpressed love and affection can also hurt deep, thanks for everything, except one thing. No thanks for dying.

Thank you very much!

It's been very happy to hear mom talk the way she does now, feels elated to know how she thinks you treated her. May be u wanted to treat her better one day but that one day never came at all. So, thanks again for teaching the lesson, take the opportunity when it is on hand. You cud have expressed your love or gratitude at least during the 15 apollo days.

Thank you very much!
Thank you very much!
Thank you very much!! 

On getting cheated

Hmmm.. To cheat is a great skill, coherence of lies should be maintained.
To get cheated is an equal as well. Needs no talent, no brain is to the advantage of a cheater.
But what do you think of someone who can cheat so intellectually. Showing that someone's a good friend, still have mal-intentions, outwardly genuine, inwardly, scared to think what this person will be inwardly!

Wow! Getting cheated by someone whom you trusted is such a great feeling. Am feeling the stab for the second time in my life. Wow! It feels great, really. Each time you get stabbed, its a wow, just wow. The feelings that follow is utter horrible. But the moment of stab and the time till it gets sinked in, it is just euphoric. Out of the world, out of mind, out of the sole purpose of life. Wow! Just Wow!

My dear cheater, you have won my heart in many ways than one. How coherently you have been lying to me all these days! How did you manage to not miss the continuity! How good a story did you form! And kept it so logical, so logical that I believed everything like a blind goat. Is this how a friendship is supposed to be? But I think I got outta your trap at the right moment. The things you started sharing with me, I thought it was true friendship, but now I can see what other intentions you might have had?! What if I had let you continue the story? Where would it have ended?

My dear begone friend, I feel so stupid and dumb for my own self for having spoken all those words of concern to you, for having shared all your "troubles". I feel so stupid on seeing how could somone be so stupid to have got cheated this way! You have made me make like a fool of myself, thank you. Thanks for showing me how bad can I get cheated.

The first time, I knew for quite sometime that I am getting cheated. But this time though it was an unexpected blow. Thank you very much for that. Thanks for showing me that cheaters can be of any form, can manipulate people to whatever extent. And most of all thanks for showing myself, How I get cheated easily(?!) Ha, you really won my dear betrayer friend.

My Valentine's day

I generally do not like to put up posts on my matrimonial relationship. This post is because a chain of thoughts were triggered when a couple of colleagues asked me what plans I had for the Valentine's day that just passed. Main reason for that being I had a love marriage, well I chose my partner, my valentine :) (He fought real hard to marry me <3 <3).The answer for the question was, I did not even wish my husband on the Valentine's day!

Now, I was very worried at the realization, the immediate response was has the love vanished?
But something said, no.
Then a fleet of questions followed.
What happened to the wishes? Gifts?
Calling at 12 in the night (morning?!) to wish on valentine's day? Meet ups?

The answer to all those questions is this post. This is more like a note-to-self kind of post :)

I feel so amused when I recollect Valentine's days of the past. How we weren't able to spend any Valentine's day together before we got married :D The couldn't-be-with-you-this-valentine's messages, Miss you messages, cheesy ones, angry ones. Stealthy meet ups, secret gifts and calls, what not! :D :D

Numerous love yous and miss yous replaced with reached office and reached home replaced with kid's back home and kid ate well. I realize that the love has not vanished but has matured with us, grown with us. In yesteryears, we used to express our love using words, wishes, gifts. Now those are replaced by actions and thoughtfulness.

When I was in great pain after my c-section on the hospital bed, he said I love you in the form of a kiss on my hand when I expressed my pain. My acknowledgement to him for the same was when I decided to get back to work after resigning my job to share his pain of finances though I knew it pains me to leave my kid under the care of someone else.

When he agreed to wear a poonal just because he has to have one to do certain rituals with my family, I got myself accustomed to his family way of praying and celebrations. Can there be a better whatever-for-you message than this?

This morning, when I was not even able to get out of the bed, he just said be-there-for-you-forever by making breakfast and getting the kid ready to school. He got the reply back when I helped him when he was struggling to feed the kid.

These and many more. Oh, yes, I did not wish my husband, my valentine, on the Valentine's day that just passed. But we wish each other and pass messages of love each and everyday through whatever we do for one another. Am so happy to experience this next stage of love :)

Post dedicated to my dear Valentine G <3 :)

Vacations

Vacations!! Vacations are supposed to be relaxing, rejuvenating, recreating or rewinding you to the time of life you lost not so long in the plethora of life chores. If vacations happen to be just the opposite, you come back more tired and exhausted than before. I just had a vacation of the latter kind. Feeling more log-like than when I left, more tired than I was before and more irritated with the routine.

One reason why it turned out sour was that it was a trip that was meant for the unmarried/ married couple and not for family with children. We visited places over places every day with little time to rest. Starting early in the mornings and ending very late in the evenings, kids you know.

Now, I long for my kinda vacation. This my kinda vacation has different meanings based on the phase of life I am in. When I was unmarried, I would have just loved my recent vacation. When I got married, the recent vacation would have been ok with some amount of romance put in (this was more like a ladies and gents separate, college kinds vacation :/). When I have kids, now, I would like to wake up at my pace, relax, spend more time with family, talking and see places that can be seen at a leisure pace. So, after having a real family with kids and all (!!) vacation definition changes to more of relaxation and more family time than exploration and adventure.