Liberation is to let go. Letting go of your possessions, your sentiments, your comfort zone, your control on life. No thrill equates the feeling of uncertainty, of not knowing what you are going to be doing the next minute.
It is a task for people of (even) my generation to even imagine this. I learnt this during my Canadian PR journey. When we (me and hubby) were in the process of applying for a PR, we used to get asked, "Do you have a job there?" as the first question, the next would be, "Do you have any friends / relatives there?" and then questions on house, schooling and expenditures follow. When we reply that we do not have a job yet and we are not sure of where we are going to stay, people used give a horrified stare. People are not ready to believe that we can take life as it comes. There always has to be a plan. We want to be sure of what is going to happen the next minute, hour, day, week, month and year. When someone deviates, we are seen as outlandish.
My husband, at one point in time, was also one in the crowd. He would not let go, he did not believe that we can survive without a job, without a plan. I tried hard and persuaded him, he half-heartedly agreed. Even now, after 10 days of experiencing uncertainty, living without a plan, his old, controlling mind peeps out now and then. But, life has been very good so far, thanks to my cousin and his family - someone who we will be grateful for, all life.
We never thought that we will have a place to stay, staple food to eat, internet to stay connected. But all these are happening, thanks to them. When we left India, we never imagined this treatment, we were prepared to sleep in a basement (we did not even carry a single piece of bedding). Yes, we are blessed, there are people who have to sleep in a basement. The point is, letting go of control has not been a curse for us. I will write even when it turns to be one.
This has been an experiment as well as an experience for us. Thankfully, one that turned out positive. Anything could have happened, we could have had to spend a fortune on AirBnB's, we could have had to eat all new food, we could have not had anything to sleep on, we could have not been able to call home, we could have been miserable with a kid, we could have regretted the decision of moving.
It may even seem stupid that we did not plan well, that too with a kid. Yes, there are things that we could have done different like bringing a dual sim mobile, bringing in more money or at least having been well-informed on how to transfer money from India to here - these 2 are the most important hurdles for us so far, I'll write down when there are more. Even then, the experiment has been favorable.
As a Ajith movie's dialogue goes, "En vaazhkaila ovvoru naalum, ovvoru nimishamum, en ovvoru nodiyum naane sedhukkinadhu daaaa..." Sometimes, it pays to not follow that :)
P.S.: Our journey of uncertainty has been possible because of fellow human beings and humanity. Let us all believe in and practice the same and enjoy the wonder of life! :)
