Random

Thank you Mr J for your statement - "Don't blame your child, you are lazy" (the man in my life is sitting behind me, reading as I type and says - "Idhu ennamo unmai dhan" - This is true :D ) - it woke me up early today and made me write this post.

It is so wonderful how the mind works, going from one thought to another requiring a simple connection between the two. An example follows. I saw a girl who was crossing a part of the road between two volvo buses that are very close to each other, back to front. She is also on a call with someone. I wonder how is she able to do that without any fear, I would not. May be she trusts herself that she will be able to quickly move away if required. May be she trusts the driving skills of the volvo bus driver.

As I think of this, the thought of my "Things to accomplish in this year" comes to my mind. One of them being "Learn to drive a car". As I think of learning to drive a car, I see how congested the road is, and how skillful a person must be to drive a vehicle on such a road and wonder if I would be ever able to drive a car on this road. As I wonder, I think of why am I not confident enough when there are so many others who can do it (On the side, another thought is going on - my mom and dad both learnt car driving but could not drive it on the road because they were 40+ and were less confident. May be I am getting old, OMG so old that I lose confidence? Horror and no-am-not-so-old feelings cut this chain off while the other chain still continues). Then there is a determination to enroll myself to driving classes (till date it is not done!).

All of a sudden my attention is drawn to that one small piece of music from my favorite song (When one song becomes my favorite, I make sure that I listen to it to death, till I know all minute beats. A song looping for a hundred times is a very usual thing in my life) that I have missed listening to for so long. Yes, with all the above thoughts going on in my head, I was listening to music and suddenly the 2:56th minute of a 4:25 minutes song catches my mind by it's throat chocking the chain of thoughts. Then I keep repeating that single piece of music again and again wondering how did I miss this and Whatsapp my cousin Karthik about this and we wonder together :P :P :D :D (Anyone relate to this? Me and Karthik often do this, he recommends songs and I recommend pieces from it back to him)

How I wish I knew..

I have been wanting to write something "mommie" on my blog for sometime now. I was considering a series on "Why I won't become a mom for the second time"!! Somehow it just doesn't click. 
Then today, I happened to read several articles and blogs on mommyhood ranging from grief of losing a child to what a mom wanted to tell her daughter who planned to "have a family". Then it struck me. This is what I had been dying to write about, what a mom should tell a daughter who is planning to expand her family. 

A dear friend of mine kept asking a question on several occasions of my life ranging from the time we were planning to have a child to a few months after the baby was born. The question seemed to be a very normal one for me every time it was asked. However, now I realize how powerful a question it is. I realize that if I would have come up with a better answer for it, I might have reversed my decision of having a child or at least postponed the expansion for some more time. The person who asked me the question is not a mother, just that she is a couple years older to me. 

The great question that haunts me now is, "What motivated you to decide upon giving birth to a child?". My dear friend who asked the question, if you are reading this, please be informed that the "haunt" word just means I am getting mature :) I know, for all the silly answers I had given you over time would have either made you gape or laugh. How I wish I knew better :) Thank you my dear friend for asking me the question, the stupid brain of me has waken up after 3 to 4 years of the question and lead to this blog.

My first answer to the question was, "My mother once asked me how nice it would be to have a small baby who looks exactly like your husband, with those big eyes of his, just imagine". She hit the nail perfectly. She knew how head over heels (mad actually) in love I was on him (it was almost 2 years into marriage). That was the very first thing that made me think of a having a child. How I wish I had known then that giving birth to a baby is a very normal thing but what comes after that is life-altering (with no offence to people who are struggling with problems in having a family, this is purely an opinion based on my experience).

People, especially elders at home make the young ones believe that having kids is as easy as a breeze. Okay, I hear voices on your mind saying what happened to my rational thinking and spending time on getting to know what it is to have a kid. Yes, I did think of our lives getting changed after a kid, however, no amount of reading and no amount of discussion would give you the real picture of the practical difficulties of having a kid actually. Though I did not buy the point, "Once children are born they will grow up in no time, it is easy", I never thought that having a kid would entirely change one's physical, emotional, mental self (especially of the mom) to a point of no return. Yes, I have changed completely as a person that I do not identify myself as the person I was before becoming a mom.

How I wish someone in the family told me this would happen, all the anxiety, all the fear, all panic, all apprehensions and second thoughts, guilt and doubt . Now, I even come to think that people who are parents already do not want to talk about these difficulties just to have a sadistic pleasure (how mean of me!! I know..). Else, they were all well meaning, in the sense, talking of such things would make us rethink our decision. Whatever, I did not have all the information I now wish I had known then.

My dear friend who asked me the most important question on parenting, I wish I knew the answer for your question at the right time :) 

P.S.: After reading the post, you, the reader, may ask me, am I not happy on being a parent? Do I not live my child? My answer would be, I do. I am the most happiest person (rather happiest mommy) in the world to have got an angel as my daughter. I love her more than my life. That is what scares me as a mom. You would understand this if you are a parent, especially a mom. :)

After Ages......

Oh Yeah, I happened to open my blog after ages.
I read a few of my older posts. 
I am in awe! 

Okay, I know, it is too much to awe at one's own self. Still, that is the damn fact, am in awe. 

I am surprised at the various topics I have written about. 
I am wondering at the language used. 
I even doubt if it is the same me who wrote all those posts. 

Can I write something equivalent to those posts? I doubt.
Can I use the same language even now? I doubt.
Can I get so many topics to write on? I doubt.
Can I think of so many things? I doubt. 
Do I even have the knowledge of such varied topics? I doubt.

Yes, I am not the same me. This is my conclusion after a visit to my blog.

Is it inability? inefficiency? disinterest? laziness? Am not sure.

But there was a burning urge to open my blog and read my posts and that left me with so many thoughts. I also had a burning urge to write something and that led (you know what? I was thinking, "what is the spelling of led?", right now) to this post. 

Feels both great and disappointing to write this post. 
Great because finally, I am writing. 
Disappointed because, I feel, am not the same person who left this blog all alone in this wide and vast cyberspace 2 years and 7 months back. 

Whatever it takes, I want that person back, the old me. 
The old, dynamic me who wrote everything on this blog.
The old, knowledgeable me who read every news of the day.
The old, enthusiastic me who followed friends and favorite people passionately.
The old, tactful me who was able to do it all.

Before I started this post, I was not even sure of what I was going to write. But now, words would just not stop. Okay, I guess I am the kind of writer who has her brains in her hands :P  There I go again, self-praise. :D

I really feel better now, after writing this post.
I really wish I find the "old me" back soon.
Wish me luck people :)

Take care.
Regards
Sowmy

புலம்பெயர்தல்

எல்லா இடத்துலயும் தமிழ்ல பேசலாம்ங்கற ஒரு விஷயமே தமிழ்நாட்டுக்கு ஷிப்ட் ஆகுறதுக்கான பெரிய அட்ராக்ஷனா இருக்கு (அட்லீஸ்ட் எனக்கு).

பெங்களூர்ல இருந்து பஸ்ல தமிழ்நாட்டுக்கு வரும் போது, ஹோசூரைத் தொடுரப்பவே தமிழ்ல இருக்கிற கடை பெயர்கள், விளம்பர போர்ட்கள், TN ரெஜிஸ்ட்ரேஷன் வண்டிகள்ன்னு எல்லாத்தையும் பாக்கப் பாக்க அவ்வளோ சந்தோஷமா இருக்கும். :)

ஆட்டோகாரர்ல இருந்து ஹோட்டல்காரர் வரை, பஸ் கண்டக்டர்ல இருந்து போஸ்ட்மேன் வரை, சின்ன டீ கடைல இருந்து ஷாப்பிங் மால்ஸ் வரை இருக்கிற எல்லார் கிட்டயும் தமிழ்ல பேசலாம்ங்கறது எவ்வளோ சந்தோஷமான விஷயம்னு தமிழ்நாட்டுல இருந்து வேலைக்காகவோ, படிப்புக்காகவோ, வேற எதுக்காகவோ வெளி ஊர்களுக்கு போய் வாழுரவங்களுக்கு மட்டுமே புரியும். :)

சில சமயம் யோசிச்சுப் பாத்தா, இந்த சின்ன சந்தோஷம் (அக்சுவலா பெரிய்ய்ய சந்தோஷம்) எங்கள மாதிரி இருக்குறவங்களுக்கு மட்டுமே (கொஞ்ச நாட்களுக்கு) கெடைக்கற போதைன்னு கூட சொல்லலாம்.

சின்ன வயசுல எல்லாம் மதுரை மட்டுமே எங்க ஊருன்னு, அங்க இருக்கிறது மட்டுமே சந்தோஷம்னு நெனச்சுக்கிட்டு இருந்த மனசு, இப்போ தமிழ்நாட்டுல எந்த ஊருமே சந்தோஷமானது தான்னு புரிஞ்சிக்கிட்டிருக்கு. அதுக்காக வேணா இந்த பெங்களூர் வாழ்க்கைக்கு நன்றி சொல்லலாம். மத்தபடி பாருங்க,  இருபத்தி இரண்டு  வருஷமா  பேசிகிட்டு இருந்த மொழியை பேச முடியாம, சின்ன கடைகக்கு போனாக்கூட வேண்டியதை கேட்டு வாங்க தடுமாறிட்டு, வழி கேக்க தெரியாம, பஸ்ல எழுதி இருக்கிற இடத்துப் பேரை படிக்க முடியாம, என்ன வாழ்க்கைடா இது.. :( 

ஆனா பாருங்க, இந்த புத்தி கெட்ட மனசுக்கு இதெல்லாம் படிக்கும் போது தெரியறது இல்ல.  ஒரு வேலைன்னு கெடச்ச உடனே பெங்களுரா, ஹைதராபாத்தா எங்கனு கூட பாக்காம சரின்னு கிளம்பிடுது. ஒரு ரெண்டு வருஷங்கள், ரெண்டரை வருஷங்களுக்கு அப்றமா தான் சொந்த ஊரைப்பத்தி யோசிக்க ஆரம்பிக்குது. என்னத்தச் சொல்ல. :(

சரி எதுக்கு இவ்வளோ கதை சொல்லிக்கிட்டு இருக்கனு கேக்குறீங்களா? 
கொஞ்ச நாளாவே  சென்னைக்கு ஷிப்ட் ஆகி போகணும்ன்னு ஒரு ஆசை மனசுல வந்துக்கிட்டே இருக்கு, அதான்.

சரி, நம்ம என்ன ஆசைப்பட்டு என்ன பிரயோஜனம்? என்ன நடக்கணுமோ அது தான் நடக்கும்.

Random

How is that whatever celebrities do, ppl accept but whenever common ppl do the same thing, the same ppl make fun. If a celebrity updates a facebook / twitter status saying the traffic is like hell / the movie so far is good, ppl appreciate / support it like as if they have started a revolution. The same updates if a common person like me / you do, is criticized and made fun by friends and others. HUH. What is so special in those ppl that we don’t have? They are also human beings. They have got a talent and a common person has also got a talent that is a bit different. If the celebrity can sing / act / compere well, then common person like me / you can code / test / manage / cook / drive / calculate / audit / do something or the other well. The only difference is that they have many people who adore them. Most of them are unknown. Me / you too have ppl who adore us. We know most of them. Ppl we know only make fun of us. When the celebrities and we, both, have “talent”, why is that ppl fall for them and make fun of us?? :S Can’t understand… So, does it mean, to update what is on your mind requires a celebrity status? Then why are the social networking sites open for all? They could have been very well restricted to famous ppl.

Time to Get MARRIED!!!!

Getting Married!!! Its one of the most beautiful things that can ever happen to someone. But something perceived beautiful by everyone has its own shortcomings!!


Hey, Come on.. Am not going to advice U or write the same old, boring things that U have heard of marriage like "loss of freedom", "choice less" etc., etc., This post would just make U "Think before U Decide".  Also, this post is most likely to portray a girl's perspective of the topic (Natural! :) ) though some of them could be applicable to men too.

Hmmmm... Where to start it from... Ok...

Am single.. I work, I earn, I spend, I enjoy, I decide on: what to do with my money, how to lead my career and life.

Maximum people I have in my life now are Mom, Dad, Grand parents, Sister / Brother and Friends. (Hey reader, U think BF or GF is missing in the list of relations?? But hey, we are talking about "singles" here, "literally") These people are very close to me and understand me as I am.

If I donot like my work and would like to take up my passion as my career (Just like me :D), then I am free to do so. All I will have to ensure is that I am happy with what I do and of course, earn a decent living, If am a person who likes to be financially independent. If am not much cared about whose money I live on, then I would go straight ahead to do whatsoever I like because I know my parents support me. :) I have dreams in life like (most others) owning a home, a car, becoming popular, etc., etc., And I feel a sense of achievement when they become true one by one.
Unless I have family commitments like loan, siblings' studies, etc., saving my hard earned money is my own choice. I can save my money and be "futuristic" or be a spendthrift and enjoy life, taking it as it comes.

Food is the one thing where I have a plethora of choices.
I dont know / like cooking? Not a problem at all.
Problem??!!! I am very lucky if I dont like / know cooking!!!
I can eat Indian (North / South, of course India has a WIDE variety of cuisines), Italian, Thai, Chinese, Continental and the rest in the list which am not aware of. :) (U, reader, know better of other variety cuisines. Add them alllllll here) So many varieties of food waiting to be eaten by me at many hotels / restaurants. Y bother about cooking!!!
What if I know cooking? Oh Noooo.. Thats a waste of Time.. Hee hee :D Just for fun. Still, I donot have so many choice when I self-cook. After all, am not a chef. :)

Ok, I have a job, I earn, I spend, I eat, but whats the fun if I do not have ppl to do this all with!!
I do have my friends from school, college, office, hostel, neighbourhood (at native and where I live now), leave out friends, I know many ppl who i meet at travel, lift, lunch, tea, stroll, etc., etc., ppl all around me. Still, the ppl who I care for the maximum are my family and very close friends. And the only person who I care the most about is, ME. (Of course, but if U donot accept it, then I am sorry, U r lying!!!! :) ) I donot have any family commitments. I call parents daily and so I dont miss them. Am in touch with my close friends. I spend most of my time for MY own self. :)

I am happy as I am. Suddenly, marriage on mind (atleast on my parents' - commitment for them, and also desire. Parents - ok?? ) When U get married, see how all the above lines are going to change!!!

Am married.. WE work, WE earn, WE spend, WE enjoy, WE decide on: what to do with OUR money, how to lead OUR career and life.

Do U see that? All "I"s have become "We"s. When (after) all written statements have changed and give a changed meaning, think of how much would LIFE change.

A bit of advice here. (Not able to avoid, apologies guys :) ) For some ppl, marriage is all about being together with their loved one (Note: "One" and not ones. This statement is applicable to me too so continuing the usage of "I"). I do not think much about the extra relationships I shall have to accommodate in my life and the commitment (which I have never had - only about life), responsibility (?? I have very less of this) and some petty sacrifices I have to make(HUH??!!).

Now, back to the story. After marriage, the extra ppl I have in my life are my husband, my mother & father-in-law, sister / brother-in-law and other list of their relations. Am very new to them, as they are to me (except my husband, in some cases). Important thing here is, I cannot assume that they will understand me as I am. It is because their family back ground and brought up may be entirely different from where I come from. It takes time to build a mutual understanding as there was with my parents, siblings or friends.

More care should be taken in the way I build up a relationship with them because, they may have a lot of expectations on me (after all, that is how the society is today). Regular calls, visits and setting aside time only for them become very important to make them understand that I care for them equally. :)

Now, MY dreams become OUR (me & my husband's) dreams, may be with some modifications in some cases (True, U have to believe me. Atleast, the married ones will believe). So, "we" earn to make "our" dreams true. :) So, going back to take up my passion as profession becomes a little difficult as I have a family and a home and commitments related to it like rent, grocery, utensils, furniture, milk, cable, credit cards, EMIs, maid, etc., etc., Hey, wait, where did all the dreams like car and home vanish??!!!

Dont panic. :) They are all still there under careful planning. But why?? When I was single, I had only one commitment - paying rent to my PG / hostel within which all the above said commitments were fulfilled (this is applicable to all the unlucky ppl who are away from home for the sake of job). But when I get married, I have to set up a home and run it successfully. :) So, the house and car needs more planning than when I was single. As simple as that. :)

So, the planning part here makes it necessary that I save some money- which might, in some cases, mean cutting down on expenses (only if am of the type to spend all my money and wait for the salary on the 25th of every month :) )

And at the last, it is about food. Food is the essence of man's life!!! :D As a technique to impress my husband, (hey, it happens, after all, I am newly married :D) I start cooking. And my husband, cultivates a liking to the new taste (:D he has to, no choice and other reason I have mentioned in the nxt para). And at one point, (oh my God!!! I have dug my own pit!!!) He wants to eat only the food cooked by me!! (lol... Just kidding... Take it in a lighter sense ppl)

And ppl U know what??!! Husbands become LAZY (caps intended to emphasize the fact) after marriage. They dont even take their wife out for dinner(In most cases). They become addicted to home made food. Paavam they are, after all they have been eating outside for a long long time... :) (Habba, escaped from the scolding of my husband!!! :D)  So, in most cases (unless my husband is a fanatic foodie and loves to taste different types of food) the variety of food also gets cut down or reduced.

This is a small sneak-peek into the "world of marriage". Some may think it is an exaggeration, for some it may be real exaggeration as they have a different experience. This is my point of view. I have just given it all in a gist (Iyayo!!!) .

Men can comment of their perspective.

So, thats all from this post ppl. Thanks a lot for having the patience (taking interest) to read such a looooooongggggggggg post.

Bye for now, expecting Ur valuable comments. :)

After a long long time....

I know, I am writing this post after a long long... time... Believe it or not, I have started 4 posts in a MS Word document and deleted it later as the continuity was lost in time..

"Commitments and Family".. :)

Anyways, here I am back with more enthusiasm and force to my dear blog.. :)

I promise that I would write regularly from now on.. :)

You can expect posts in the days to come on the following topics:

1) Alternate jobs for software professionals??

2) Right time to get married.. :)

So, with that promise.. This is Sowmy signing off from my blog...

See U VERY soon... :)